Love this article! My Anxiety Disorder is actually because of emotional suppression which I thought back then was my super power. I had a poker face and I was nonchalant because for me, few people only deserve my true reaction. That was my defense mechanism to protect myself. No matter what pain people gave, I didn't give them any satisfaction by giving them a reaction. I didn't know that years of living this created an Anxiety Disorder because as this article mentioned, crying and other forms of reaction are emotional regulation.
So now, I actually cry a lot. If I am anxious but all of my coping strategies don't work, I cry. After that, I will feel better.
Oh this is so interesting. It makes sense that it would contribute to anxiety- holding all of that inside. I’m glad you are able to release it more now. You deserve that!
I do get the holding your reaction piece of this. I wonder if you feel like there a piece of this that is also healthy too. Learning to respond rather than react for example or if truly is all a protection mechanism.
Okay but, Landon, the "scheduling your own emotional release" detail, I felt that in a very specific way. Somehow, you managed to do this thing where the science makes the personal feel less lonely & the personal makes the science actually land. Like:
"Suppressing it is like refusing to exhale"
- that's the kind of line I'd wager many a creative writing student would've wished they wrote, I know I do. Truly a kudos. Also "man up and cry" as a closing is genuinely perfect! (:
Thank you, Michelle! I honestly was questioning if it was a bit too harsh but I just couldn’t help myself. It’s what I wanted to say so I just said it haha. Thanks for reading🤍
This was great. A lot of the kids nowadays seem to be more OK with emotions, which is refreshing. I had no idea the mechanism was releasing stress hormones. I'd always wondered why crying in emotional scenarios would have evolved, and figured it was just vestigial. Fascinating!
"Emotional tears, however, are unique. They occur in response to psychological states such as grief, frustration, joy, or overwhelming relief. And unlike other tears, emotional tears contain measurable concentrations of stress hormones and neurochemicals"
Is this really true fact tears are chemically different? 🤔🤔🤔
Okay, L -- I'm squarely a Gen-Xer, who grew up on "Free to Be, You and Me," with the song "It's Alright to Cry," as sung by famous football player Rosie Greer. I've always been expressive (even as a kid), and have always been fine with crying as a guy. Hell, I don't even remember what I was watching on TV the other night and I got briefly choked up. I'm pretty much in touch with my feelings and will certainly cry in front of other guy friends, but that's probably because I've always probably been a "sensitive" to begin with. They know I'm cool with it.
But one thing that has happened over time, is that crying has always felt more blocked as I got older. I simply don't cry as easily as I used to when I was younger, even though I could really use a good, long cry at times -- even when I'm alone. Rationally, I know I could/should more, as the relief would be great. However, it has definitely been more difficult to do, and I can't help but wonder if such has to do with male hormonal changes over time or the like as opposed to psychological. Who knows?
Love that you cited more articles again, L. I know it's second nature for you, but it's still awesome as usual. - Seth ✦
I know, Seth. I have always wished I could cry on command and when it was convenient but I have not yet mastered that. It always comes when it chooses for me. Good for you for being willing to stay sensitive instead of letting the world influence you.
I'll tell my mother to stop worrying...🤣 Nothings wrong with me mom, I'm just good at emotionally regulating! Really though, this was very interesting!
Love this article! My Anxiety Disorder is actually because of emotional suppression which I thought back then was my super power. I had a poker face and I was nonchalant because for me, few people only deserve my true reaction. That was my defense mechanism to protect myself. No matter what pain people gave, I didn't give them any satisfaction by giving them a reaction. I didn't know that years of living this created an Anxiety Disorder because as this article mentioned, crying and other forms of reaction are emotional regulation.
So now, I actually cry a lot. If I am anxious but all of my coping strategies don't work, I cry. After that, I will feel better.
Oh this is so interesting. It makes sense that it would contribute to anxiety- holding all of that inside. I’m glad you are able to release it more now. You deserve that!
I do get the holding your reaction piece of this. I wonder if you feel like there a piece of this that is also healthy too. Learning to respond rather than react for example or if truly is all a protection mechanism.
It really was a protection mechanism. I lived in my mind and in my journal so much that I was rarely present in my activities.
Okay but, Landon, the "scheduling your own emotional release" detail, I felt that in a very specific way. Somehow, you managed to do this thing where the science makes the personal feel less lonely & the personal makes the science actually land. Like:
"Suppressing it is like refusing to exhale"
- that's the kind of line I'd wager many a creative writing student would've wished they wrote, I know I do. Truly a kudos. Also "man up and cry" as a closing is genuinely perfect! (:
Thank you, Michelle! I honestly was questioning if it was a bit too harsh but I just couldn’t help myself. It’s what I wanted to say so I just said it haha. Thanks for reading🤍
Strong, strong piece!
The references to research behind the work... how doctor-y of you, hahaha.
Got to learn so much, and as a certified cry-er, I thoroughly approve of everything you’ve mentioned :)
The point where you mention not letting oneself cry is akin to refusing to exhale... stole the show for me 🙌🏻
Thanks, Ankesh! Means the world to me that you read it and offered such kind feedback ✨ I’m so glad it landed for you too
This was great. A lot of the kids nowadays seem to be more OK with emotions, which is refreshing. I had no idea the mechanism was releasing stress hormones. I'd always wondered why crying in emotional scenarios would have evolved, and figured it was just vestigial. Fascinating!
Glad you liked it and thanks for reading! Yes I agree, emotions are being more accepted in the younger generations for sure.
Fellow nerd here and I love this piece. Partially for the education and the rest for validation of my ability to let the tears flow!
I am so glad you loved it! Tear validation always readily available for you. And I always love meeting other nerds:) Thanks for reading.
"Emotional tears, however, are unique. They occur in response to psychological states such as grief, frustration, joy, or overwhelming relief. And unlike other tears, emotional tears contain measurable concentrations of stress hormones and neurochemicals"
Is this really true fact tears are chemically different? 🤔🤔🤔
Yes it’s really true! Thanks for reading:)
Excellent article.
Thanks so much for reading:) glad you enjoyed it
Okay, L -- I'm squarely a Gen-Xer, who grew up on "Free to Be, You and Me," with the song "It's Alright to Cry," as sung by famous football player Rosie Greer. I've always been expressive (even as a kid), and have always been fine with crying as a guy. Hell, I don't even remember what I was watching on TV the other night and I got briefly choked up. I'm pretty much in touch with my feelings and will certainly cry in front of other guy friends, but that's probably because I've always probably been a "sensitive" to begin with. They know I'm cool with it.
But one thing that has happened over time, is that crying has always felt more blocked as I got older. I simply don't cry as easily as I used to when I was younger, even though I could really use a good, long cry at times -- even when I'm alone. Rationally, I know I could/should more, as the relief would be great. However, it has definitely been more difficult to do, and I can't help but wonder if such has to do with male hormonal changes over time or the like as opposed to psychological. Who knows?
Love that you cited more articles again, L. I know it's second nature for you, but it's still awesome as usual. - Seth ✦
I know, Seth. I have always wished I could cry on command and when it was convenient but I have not yet mastered that. It always comes when it chooses for me. Good for you for being willing to stay sensitive instead of letting the world influence you.
Thanks. I sure as hell try, Landon — but secretly I know there’s a great journal article in there about guys and crying! LOL.
BTW, if you never watched it, make sure you check out the Holly Hunter crying scene (opening credits) in Broadcast News. It speaks volumes. - Seth ✦
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdrtPn9agpE
I'll tell my mother to stop worrying...🤣 Nothings wrong with me mom, I'm just good at emotionally regulating! Really though, this was very interesting!
So glad you enjoyed it and thanks for reading! Now you have some science to back up your claims to your mom haha